Ezekiel's Journey Into This World

Although, I love being a stepmom and love my stepchildren dearly... I have always still had a desire to have my own children. I quickly lost this hope after years of being told by doctors that I would never be able to conceive. 

I was diagnosed at the age of 18 with a severe case of endometriosis. I remember when I first received the diagnosis.. I was away at college living states away from my family. It was my first time ever going to the doctor alone and the news they told me was heart breaking. I can remember the doctor being so insensitive and telling me the crushing news that I'd never be able to conceive. As I'm sure you can imagine, I sobbed! All I had ever wanted was to be a mother.

After being diagnosed with endo, I was years later diagnosed with precancerous cells developing in my uterus. Because of these cells, I had to have multiple biopsies and surgeries to remove all the cancerous cells that were forming. By this time, I was married and desperately wanting to have a baby. My aunt had blessed us with the option of her being a surrogate for us. My husband and I considered this option heavily after almost two years of trying to conceive.

On mother's day 2016 I knew something was off with my body. After buying hundreds of pregnancy tests and dreading seeing the hundreds of negatives... I decided to wait until my next doctor's appointment to take another test. At this doctor's appointment, it happened to be the first appointment my husband didn't go with me to since I discovered the precancerous cells, and this appointment I found out we were pregnant. I remember my nurse (who had been my main nurse since the beginning of our journey) telling me that my test was positive. She cried with me and hugged me while I sobbed. It was the best news ever. I was so excited to tell my husband and family!

We later discovered we were having a boy and instantly fell in love with the name Ezekiel. We didn't realize until later on that Ezekiel means God Strengthens which is a real testimony because of his entrance into this world.

Anyways, shortly after finding out I was pregnant, I started feeling strange. I don't know how else to describe it besides the fact that my body felt "off". I took four trips to the emergency room within the time I was pregnant because of a constant nagging pain in my upper abdomen. The first time, they told me it was normal growing pains. The second time, it was that the baby might be kicking my ribs in the same spot. Third time, they were convinced it was my gallbladder.

The forth time, I was 7 months pregnant and everything was starting to be brought to light. I had a high blood pressure, pitting/ swollen feet, and a large amount of protein in my urine. I was then diagnosed with preeclampsia, given a set of two shots to help the baby's lungs develop and transported to a hospital that specialized in these cases.

I arrived at the specialty hospital on a Tuesday. I was told I would be closely monitored but that I should get comfortable because I would be staying there on bed rest for 7 weeks. I was upset and stressed but I was willing to do whatever it took to help my baby have the best fighting chance.




Up until Thursday evening, everything seemed normal. That night, I was talking with my husband on the phone when my back began to hurt. I called the nurse into my room to ask for a heating pad. The nurse took my blood pressure and it had spiked to about 180/110. She called the doctor into my room and the doctor tried to convince me that maybe I had a low pain tolerance and I was just experiencing contractions. Now, I had never had a baby before this but the way contractions had been described to me in the past I knew this was different. I told her I wanted blood work done to see if there was anything else going on that we could not see. By then, my husband returned back to the hospital... He and my mom began googling my symptoms and asked the doctor if I had HELLP. The doctor told them that if I had HELLP, I'd be declining fast and that they should stop googling. She moved me to a labor and delivery room, told me that I'd have to wait until morning to receive the blood work results and get an ultrasound done.

Throughout the night my pain intensified. I remember crying to my mom and kept repeating, "somethings not right". I was in so much pain that I began getting naked, ripping off my monitors that viewed the baby's heart rate, and vomiting. They tried giving me meds to control the vomiting but I was in so much pain that it didn't help. I couldn't receive pain meds, I was begging to take a bath and I at times was on all fours just trying to get comfortable. The nurses came in and did their best to make me comfortable but quickly got frustrated and told me if I kept taking my monitors off that they'd have to make me sign a waiver saying that I was refusing treatment. I told my husband and the nurses that I was convinced I was going to die. My family was quickly called and they all spent the night in the waiting room of the hospital to see what was going to happen in the morning.

By the morning, I was MISERABLE!!! The two specialists doctors came in and quickly diagnosed me with HELLP (H- hemolysis, EL- elevated liver enzymes, LP- low platelet count). The doctor's told my family that they were going to have to rush me into have an emergency c-section and that they needed to get the baby out within 10 minutes in order for me to survive. I was only 27 weeks so I was terrified that my baby wouldn't survive. I sobbed and felt that I had failed because yet again my body had failed me!

The doctor's took another set of blood work and that's when we realized my blood wasn't clotting. I literally had a pool of blood forming from the little prick of the needle that they put in my arm. My blood results came back from the night before and my platelets were at 50,000. My doctor told my family that they had two severe options but that neither one was looking to promising. They could put me under but because my blood pressure was so high I was almost guaranteed to have a stroke... Or they could give me an epidural which I could easily bleed out on the table. The doctor said he felt more comfortable with the epidural so my family agreed. He also stated that if my platelets were anything lower than 30,000 that no one would touch me because I was guaranteed to bleed out on the operating table. They all prayed over me and said their goodbyes hoping that I'd make it out alive.

After rushing me into surgery, my second results of blood work came back and my platelets were 27,000. By this time, I was already cut open so they had to finish the operation. They told me that I wouldn't hear my baby crying and that the beginning process I would feel a lot of pressure but then everything should slow down from there.

Well I'm proud to say that my baby came out crying! They got him out within 5 minutes but they were rough on my body in order to get him out quickly. So although he was out within 5 minutes it took them about 3-4 hours to repair the damage they had done to my body.

After surgery I was told that all my vital organs had began shutting down. I was retaining all my water because my kidneys were failing, having trouble breathing because my lungs were starting to fail, and the pain I was feeling in my side was because my liver had began failing which started sending poison out into my body and my liver was literally about to burst inside of me. I had multiple nurses that had taken care of me Thursday night (when I was at my worse) come into my room after I was feeling better and tell me that they didn't think I was going to make it. One nurse told me that she had never had a patient look her in the eyes and repeatedly tell her that they think they are going to die but I was convinced. I was also told that 1% of women develop HELLP during their third trimester and a small percentage of those women start showing signs as early as their first trimester like I did. Because it was so rare and so unlikely for me to develop it so early on, it was left undiagnosed.

After my surgery, everything got worse before it got better. My platelets dropped lower until about I believe 15,000 (I believe that was the lowest). I was in such critical condition that I had my own nurse and doctor assigned to me 24 hours a day. 

I had to wait three long days before I could see my baby because I was still critical. I had one nurse who I believe was a God sent angel, I believe a lot of the reason my body was able to heal itself was because of her. She literally gave me a sponge bath while I was in bed. Washed my whole body for me and then took it a step further and massaged my body with lotion to help ease the stress. She also helped me brush my teeth. This was not part of her "job" but she told me that her job is to take care of her patients and get them feeling healthy again and if that's what it took then she would do it. She reminded me of a grandmother. She was direct at times and to some may have seemed harsh but at the same time she was so tender and sweet. She encouraged me to get up and moving and to do whatever it took to get better in order for me to see my baby.

Now nearly two months later, my son is still in the NICU. He's a strong little guy and I know he will be home soon. But for now we are just thankful that we are both alive.

This experience has forever changed me. I will never doubt that there is a God. I know that I couldn't have come that close to death and survived on my own. My body has failed me time and time again but I know Jesus must still have work for me to do. I am humbled that the Lord chose to do such a miraculous thing in me so that I can live on to share my testimony. So I will overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of my testimony. (Revelations 12:11)


*** Special thank you to my husband who was amazing throughout this whole process! He's never doubted God during our whole journey... Even when I lost faith, he always believed and trusted the Lord. I have an amazing man who has been so unbelievably supportive!
Thank you to my parents who never left my side while I was in the hospital! To my aunt who was willing to have a baby for us!
And also to our family/fr-amily! Reuben & I have the most amazing support system! Thank you to those who visited us in the hospital, brought us multiple meals, the continuous prayers/ checking in & the love that you have poured out on my family & I. We appreciate you all!

Brianna Nicole